Nearly 16 weeks pregnant!

It's been forever since I posted! I have been so incredibly busy! I just returned late on Sunday night from Portland, OR. I traveled there for the annual General Assembly of Unitarian Universalists as a chaperone for our youth group. I had an amazing time with both our youth and at the conference; I was so impressed with all of the LOVE.

The highlight of the GA for me was when I attended a lecture by Robert Fulghum. He is the author of one of my favorite essays, "All I Really Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten." I had not idea that Robert Fulghum was a UU minister...he is, in fact, Rev. Robert Fulghum. My dear old friend Paul Bergman gave me Rev. Fulghum's essay when we graduated from high school back in 1992 and wrote a funny/somewhat catty inscription in it. He said that "if the Book of Mormon doesn't supply the words you choose to live by I think this one will." Both of us were, at that time, fallen Catholics who had rejected organized religion completely. The Book of Mormon mention was a joke...there was NO way either of us would look to a "holy" book for any direction whatsoever! I think he perhaps recognized something that I did also--spiritual fulfillment did not need to be found in some traditional religious dogma, but instead in something like Robert Fulghum's little book of kindergarten wisdom.

Well, here I am, fifteen years later, living by the principles of Unitarian Universalism (well, at least trying to most of the time) and there was Rev. Fulghum, on my bookshelf, this whole time. I believe he used the word "stealthy" to describe the way he shares the UU Principles...his books have been bestsellers all over the world. Lots of people ask me what the heck being a UU is all about and it's somewhat hard to explain...unless of course you also have a copy of Rev. Fulghum's essay in your bookshelf--then it is pretty easy to get. I think the main message I took away from Rev. Fulghum was to live...right now. To take joy even in our struggles...which means for me lately to not get upset when I cannot stay up forever or push my body physically as I could when not pregnant. Instead of feeling guilty or whatever for not being able to do as much as I used to, I may take joy in this, struggle and all.

In addition to loving being around all of those UUs, I loved Portland! Man, what a city! The youth leader and I (Jennifer also!) joked on the way home...why in hell don't we live there? I loved everything about it...free public transit downtown, great food, green everywhere, the strawberries (thanks to Helen and Troy...our pals who live there)--everything! Portland also supports a lot of sustainable living initiatives and very different from Fresno, seems to have urban sprawl under control. The housing prices aren't too bad...somewhat comparable to Fresno--maybe a little more, depending on where you want to live. Fantastic city. I didn't get to enjoy all of the microbrews while up there, of course--but I do plan to go back and enjoy!!

It was also so great to see our pals Helen and Troy! Helen is 18 weeks pregnant and so it was so nice to chat with another pregnant lady...although I have been so jealous of her pregnancy experience...no morning sickness! Yes, mine finally went away (I frankly don't even feel pregnant anymore...aside from the fatigue/exhaustion) but I am still jealous! And...she has the cutest little bump...I still have no bump. I don't think I will actually show for another couple of months...my belly was already pretty bumpy so the little dude has to be bigger than 5 inches (what he is now) to actually see him through my preexisting bumps. :) har har. It's nice to know that if we ever do move to Portland, our little one has a friend already!!! Helen and Troy took me for a driving tour of Portland...we ended up at the Rose Garden which was gorgeous...and hit a ritzy garage sale (it was so ritzy that the folks hosting it simply called it a "G-Sale"). Helen and Troy apparently love g-sales and made out pretty good at this one! hehe!

With my mind and heart still in Portland, I began to teach at our church's day camp on Monday! I am teaching the 7/8th grade kids and boy...is it a challenge!! I really love being with them but were we that wiggly when in 7/8th grade? Okay, yes, I definitely was...I couldn't shut up. In the 8th grade, I was moved to the front of the class, in front of the door with the glass window that looked directly into the principal's office--from which the principal would shake her finger warningly at me, throughout the day. So, okay...I get it. I do really enjoy them...they make me laugh. They also want me to tear my hair out... hehe. I really love working with the directors of camp...Jennifer and Aubree...fun and funny gals who really know their shit. All of this youth ministry stuff is very new to me so they have been an INCREDIBLE help!!

As you can see, I am feeling better. With the disappearance of the morning sickness, I seemed to also gain a little of "me" back! When I was so sick, I felt so incredibly powerless--I was constantly at the mercy of my body. I still feel this to a large extent; as I mentioned above, I simply cannot stay up as late or pack my days as full of activities as I could before I was pregnant. It is simply not possible--my body honestly just gives out. My back begins to ache, my legs begin to ache and I am overcome with a powerful desire to lie the hell down. In Portland this was especially tough...as a chaperone, I felt awful when the teenagers were still bouncing off of the walls and the other chaperones were also tired...but I just had no steam at moments. I appreciated their giving me "a pass" and fully intend to extend the same favor to them or other chaperones in the future--pregnant or otherwise!

Other than the exhaustion...my pregnancy seems almost unforgettable! I don't really look pregnant (although Doug swears that I "glow") and I have yet to feel the baby move. I thought I did about 2 weeks ago but have not felt it since and have chocked it up to gas. :) I do have a doctor's appointment on Friday and will hopefully schedule my first ultrasound. We only plan to get one...just to be on the safe side. If nothing seems wrong, I am all for keeping this pregnancy as un-medicalized as possible.

I'll write again after our doctor's visit! Peace.