Please welcome...

Update: For additional baby pics, go to http://www.flickr.com/photos/djmayer/collections/ to see them all!

...Penelope Marie Mayer. Our lovely daughter was born on Wednesday, December 12 at 12:53am after a long and exhausting labor (24 hours!). She weighed in at 6 pounds, 13.4 ounces and measures 20 inches in length. Jenn was an absolute champ and went natural all the way...she was truly amazing. Here are some pics below and more will be posted later. I must sleep -- have to be back at the hospital in 4 hours and I've been up for nearly 25 straight. Nothing compared to mama, but I'm still beat.

Our small, little angel

Cozy and asleep

Happy mom, dad and baby

39 Weeks...holy cow!

Well, amazing to think that baby's gestational age is 39 weeks! I continue to be surprised that I am still pregnant...I honestly thought that Baby Mayer would be here by now! Not that I am really upset or frustrated...yet! If I am still writing as a pregnant mom in two weeks, I might be!

At our last OB appt., our NP indicated that things were ready for dilation...soft cervix and whatnot. I can tell that baby has moved down a little, but nothing major. The softening is a good sign...it is progress since last week. Uterine activity has definitely picked up--since early yesterday morning, I have been cramping and contracting fairly often, nothing consistent but enough to warrant my attention. I have also had some other clues, which some of you may not really want to hear about but are early indicators of the cervix changing. :)

Our NP mentioned that the incoming rainstorms bode well for our going into labor--Doug explained it has to do with the low pressure. Interesting! So, this weekend may be it...we'll see!

We are definitely ready...at least around the house. We even put up the Christmas tree last week! I am so excited to have a tree up--we haven't put up a tree in about three years because we always seem to be away on Christmas. I really look forward to spending Christmas at our home this year, particularly because we'll have baby with us! Amazing. We've mentioned that baby's room is ready and boy is it ever! I did the last load of baby laundry yesterday...he/she has so many blankets and onesies...what a lucky kid. I've loaded up the freezer and pantry with meals/components for meals and if my body lets me, I think I'll give our tile floors one last steam. I am probably stupid to do so, since it is supposed to rain and the dogs will only track in more dirt. I don't know if my body will let me go too crazy, I think Doug mentioned in his post that even vacuuming kills my back. Those sorts of things are very frustrating...I hate not being able to do the things I never really gave a second thought to before I got pregnant. :)

I'll have Doug take a belly photo today and will post it asap! The pregnancy fun continues!

More Baby Shower Fun!

Finally! Here are some photos from two more of the amazing baby showers in honor of Baby Mayer! These are from the shower thrown by my wonderful aunts, Pam Pistoresi and Stacey Henderson. It was a beautiful day; we had a yummy brunch (complete with quiche and 7-up salad...two of my favorites!) and Baby received all kinds of wonderful gifts, including tons of diapers!

Cute placemats!

Grandma-to-be Sharon, Mom-to-be Jenn, Nana-to-be Nadine, Great Grandma-to-be Mary

The Ladies!

Uggs from Papa Steve


Fun Favors!

These are from the shower thrown by Jennifer Kranzke and the other amazing ladies at the UU Church of Fresno! We had a wonderful time sharing lots of advice for Baby Mayer and again, Baby was spoiled with lots of amazing gifts, including a car seat! We are so happy to a part of such a loving and supportive community--these gals rock!

The UUCF Ladies!

Measuring Mama's Belly!


Some of the amazing UUCF gals

And to assure you that Doug wasn't left out of the gift-opening completely, here he is modeling the latest in diaper-bag fashion, courtesy of soon-to-be Uncle Brian and Aunt Tricia!

Hot Daddy!

And Daddy is also getting into the "sling" of things, modeling a baby wrap, courtesy of Ellen G. and since we have no baby yet, Mr. Dragon (courtesy of Deb B.) was a suitable substitute!

Chick Magnet!

We must (we simply cannot stop!) extend our deepest, most heartfelt thanks to everyone who helped us celebrate Baby Mayer's upcoming arrival; every time we walk into his/her nursery, we are overwhelmed with the generosity and love bestowed upon this kid! I just cannot wait to introduce him/her to everyone...we are going to have so much fun. :) Again, thanks to everyone!

So, so close...

Holy moly, are we ever close. Below are some of the the more up-to-date belly shots and you can tell that the time is nearing.

Jenn is constantly telling me how big she feels and how tight her belly seems. Although, it's not that it seems tight, but it really is tight. The baby is becoming so big that there doesn't seem to be any room left at all. Touch anyplace on her belly and it is like a rock. This is definitely causing her some discomfort, particularly when the little troublemaker decides to move around and change position.

Well, I think we have pretty much everything in the house in order (except for the master bath...still working on it) and the baby's room is definitely ready. I still have a little bit of yard work that I also need to complete so I don't have to think about it for a while, but the majority is done. Jenn went on a rampage around the house, cleaning and organizing everything. I helped (I swear!), but she really did the lions-share and kicked butt. That is about all she can do for the time being...just running the vacuum tires her out.

I have been trying to wrap up as much of my projects at work as possible before the baby comes so I don't have to dump too much on my co-workers. Still, I have let them know that the baby could be here any day and I am just waiting for the call from Jennifer and I'm out of there. I'm planning to stay at home for the majority of December, probably around 3 weeks depending on when the baby actually is born. I'm really looking forward to that time with Jenn and the new kid; it will of course be tiring and maybe stressful, but it will still be a vacation. Going back to work after that will be interesting -- I'm kind of worried I will have trouble focusing, thinking instead of how I'd like to be home with Jenn and the baby. I guess this will be when the old adage "work smarter, not harder" really comes into play since I'll need/want to come home early every day. Actually, Jenn had a very good idea...one night a week will be my work late night when I can stay as long as I need to. Hopefully, I won't have to utilize that night often, but it will be there if I need it.

Well, the suitcase is ready, the goody bag is packed, the car seat is strapped in, contact list is in my phone and food is in the freezer. We are ready to go. Come on baby!

The Wait Continues...

Well, here we are at 38 weeks! Baby continues to be happy, cozy and warm in mama's belly and mama continues to sleep poorly, pee often and waddle slowly about. Not that I am complaining...well, at least not much. :)

It's strange to think I was born by this time in my mom's pregnancy, what fun she missed out on, at least with me! I think Dan was born around 38 weeks...so...I haven't broken family tradition quite yet. Although, Dr. B. checked things out yesterday and I am still shut up pretty tight...she predicted that I would give birth somewhere between December 13-20. She also said we are on track to having about an 8 lb baby...although I think he/she will be bigger if I give birth AFTER our EDD. I suppose I can handle being pregnant for that much longer! Doug's bro Uncle Chris might get his wish to have his first niece/nephew born on his birthday, December 15.

We still have much to do before baby arrives! I am feeling somewhat panicky about being as organized as possible before he/she comes home, knowing that we will be living in disorganization for awhile. Believe it or not, this is one of my major stresses; I hate messes! Especially when my head is a little disorganized (or sleep-deprived!), a clean and well-organized home helps. So, if you wonder what we might need after baby is born? No, we don't need any more onesies or booties, we need someone to dust and run the vacuum every couple of days. :) I spent Tuesday cooking/preparing meals to freeze and will finish up that task today! While I feel like we can do so much more before baby is born, I know that I have accomplished a lot and that does feel pretty good.

Baby is hiccuping right now...it might be my imagination or wishful thinking...but hiccups feel lower. Since about Sunday, I have felt the baby simultaneously pushing on my cervix and on my ribs occasionally--what a weird feeling! I also felt what I think might have been false labor contractions yesterday...they felt someone different from the Braxton Hicks contractions that I have been feeling since about month 5-6, I felt them more in my back. Nothing came of them but they did feel different and give me some sort of indication that I will "just know" when things begin to happen.

The waiting is really strange, I have really mixed feelings about it. I am physically pretty tired and close to ready to go but mentally, well, I don't know if I will be completely ready. Although, I have a feeling that nature will take care of that; perhaps I will get so big, so uncomfortable that feeling unsure will be a luxury compared to how I feel physically! That is, I won't frankly give a damn about my mental/emotional doubts, I will be feeling so huge and lousy that all I will want is to get the baby OUT!! I have trusted my body so far (and that trust has served me well) so perhaps that is the way it will go...

30 Days to EDD!

Well, here we are, November 13! If baby decides to be one of those rare kids who actually arrives on his/her due date, we are exactly 30 days away from his/her birthday! I had to at least acknowledge it...I know that meeting him/her in exactly 30 days is extremely unlikely.

In fact, I am beginning to doubt my initial feelings of meeting this baby prior to his/her due date! Just over the past couple of days, I have been feeling that Baby Mayer is pretty cozy in his/her womb-home and just might break family tradition and come after his/her due date. I am actually, at this point, feel okay about that, but, talk to me in a month and I might be singing a different tune.

I'll post again soon with photos from this past weekend's baby showers...they were amazing and we can officially say, at least "stuff" wise, we are ready for the baby! I want to make sure to include photos and for some reason, I am not finding them! So expect another, much longer post soon!

Baby Shower Fun

Click here to see all the pics....

Well, we had our first baby shower a couple weeks ago, and by "we" I mean Jenn, and I just showed up at the end. So it goes.

I had started this post soon after the shower, but I didn't manage to finish and it ended up gathering dust in the draft queue. And since I haven't posted in a while I figured I should finish what I started.

While Jenn was at the shower, I was otherwise occupied at the Campbell Octoberfest, accompanied by Steve, Dan, Chris, Mike and Sayre (Jenn's step-father, brother, my brother, our friend and Dan's friend, respectively). We walked around, and well, drank beer. It was very crowded and the way they set up the beer stations was a little annoying and made it a slow process in obtaining beer. You had to stand in one line to buy tickets and then proceed to a second line to actually buy the beer. Add to that, there were only 5 beer stations so the lines were out of control. Still, the beer and the company was good so we had a fun time.

The shower was fun for Jenn and we received some wonderful gifts from our friends and family. It was especially nice to see some of our friends that we haven't seen for some time (that's you, Hosannah, Janis and Kirsten). Thanks again to everyone for your support and love. =)

So now, here are some gratuitous belly shots (cover the children's eyes!)...

Whoo-wee, a couple more weeks and she's gonna pop. Oh yeah, we're getting down to the wire now and it almost seems like we are ready. We just finished up our birthing class through the clinic this past week and wow, do we ever know a lot about the labor and delivery process. I dare you to ask me to describe what happens during the transition period.

I'm not sure we need to know everything we learned, including seemingly all of the possible contingencies, but it feels good to know what to expect. We're also close to finishing up our hypno-birthing course, which has been great. The relaxation methods will be a huge help for Jenn (and even for me) when labor starts through the delivery process. I just need to remember to help her stay calm and give her the proper prompts to guide her.

Then we get to be parents. OMG...

Actually, I'm not quite as worried about that as I was before. At this point, I am just excited to meet the kid (bit, nugget, chitlin, take your pick) so I can talk to he/she directly, rather than through Jenn's belly. I'm sure the reality of being a parent will come crashing down on me as soon as we bring our child home and we are woken in the wee hours of the night, but that's cool. I'm looking forward to it, regardless.

The room is pretty much finished; we still have some decorating to do, but that will be an ongoing project. My mom is over this weekend to help out with refinishing the dresser -- a quick sand and a paint job. She'll be back for Thanksgiving and we'll do some painting of some animals on the walls out of a cute children's book. As for the bathroom, that is still unfinished and haunting me every day. I did get some work done on the tiling this past weekend, but there is still a good bit to do in the shower. I'm hoping to get through a lot of it this weekend with the help of Dan and Mike (Kennedy), but I doubt we'll finish. Ever after that, I still have to take care of the vanity countertop, the sink, faucet, sink plumbing, medicine cabinet, light fixture, cabinet finishing, and various bathroom accessories. Oy, so much work still to do.

Wow, it is getting late and I need to get to bed. Before I go, here's a gratuitous dog pic...

I'm this cute...

40 Days to Go!

I can't believe it. I remember like it was yesterday that I was 40 DAYS pregnant! It seems my feelings haven't changed much since; I recall thinking then, "I can't believe it!" Yet we've come so far since then, in fact, I can't imagine my life without this baby--I already feel like a mom and consider Doug not only my husband and best friend, but the father of our child. Even though we have not actually seen him/her, I can already sense who he/she is, personality wise and how he/she figures into our life. Just ask anyone who bothers to ask, "how are you?" and they'll tell you that all I talk about is this pregnancy and this baby...he/she is already the center of my life. :)

Speaking of life, it is pretty nuts. I think nesting (or the preliminary stages of it) has officially set in--I feel the need to CLEAN EVERYTHING. I am usually a pretty neat person but I want to CLEAN...as in take everything out of the kitchen cupboards and clean, clean, clean! We recently purchased a steam cleaner--one of those lightweight ones you can carry throughout the house. I cannot wait to attack the tile grout with it! And despite my best green sensibilities, I was in the cleaning products aisle at Target yesterday, I saw the swiffer system and realized why people use it; its easier than lugging the vacuum cleaner throughout the house--and I nearly bought it. I resisted, however--I am not that desperate yet. :) Nothing like cleaning your floors with maxi-pad looking things, eh?

I also bought some of those yesterday! I felt a little strange in the sanitary napkin section...I clearly look like I have had no need of such things in quite awhile. It will be somewhat strange to resume my normal bodily cycles. I bought them to begin packing my hospital bag--I am a bit superstitious about this. If I am packed, I won't go into preterm labor, but if I am not packed, I probably will! I hear it is a good idea to have done around 34-35 weeks anyway, so I am right on time. I am somewhat nervous because the fact of the matter is, I was born at 36 weeks. I don't think our baby will make that early of an appearance but having the bag packed can't hurt to try to insure that!

We have two baby showers coming up! Over Veteran's weekend, my aunts Pam and Stacey are throwing us a shower and the fabulous ladies from our church are also hosting one. I am constantly amazed and heartened by the outpouring of love and support for Doug, myself and this baby! I appreciate the fact that everyone, it seems, wants to celebrate this little one. I guess the birth of a baby is a special event; I don't have too much experience with this so sometimes it's somewhat overwhelming--all of the attention. I honestly do love and appreciate the outpouring of care and support and really look forward to getting together with all of those great ladies--family and friends--to help welcome our little one into our lives.

And speaking of little ones--my dear old friend Tasha just had twins! I went to visit her, her husband Bill and their new son and daughter last week at the hospital. Mom and Dad were so happy and proud of the twins and those twins--oh, they are the most precious little beings. I held their daughter for quite awhile and just watched her little facial expressions, her movements. It was incredible. I sat down in the rocking chair at one point with her and as I rocked her, I thought, "wow, I could do this all day." And it was such an emotional moment because I realized that, soon, I will be able to rock my little baby all day long. "Amazing" doesn't even come close to expressing how I feel about that.

The 8-Week Countdown!

We just concluded 32 weeks of pregnancy today and begin our eighth month! I am increasingly amazed at how fast this pregnancy has gone by and increasingly anxious about having this baby! Our childbirth classes are helping in that department; with every class, I (we) become more confident in the whole birthing process and that helps decrease the fears I have about it. I still have much fear--well, more like nervousness--about being a mom but I suppose we have to take it one thing at a time: first deal with childbirth and then deal with the child!

Speaking of the child, here is he/she today:


Even though I still feel like I am more boobs than belly, there is a healthy baby in there! At our appointment on Wednesday, I was measuring 33 weeks--pretty much right on time! So, while my belly isn't the typical basketball looking thing, there is a normal-sized kid in there! I am constantly reminded of this reality; his/her movements are very strong and frequent! Our NP said that baby is head-down already--in the perfect spot to deliver nice, swift kicks to my ribs! Thankfully, I think I feel elbow jabs most of the time; the kick-in-the-ribs often knock the wind out of me! I have also continued to feel hiccups...Doug even felt them, recently! Everyday is an adventure with this little one and I can only imagine what it will be like when he/she is with us on the outside!

Doug and I are really enjoying our childbirth classes and, particularly, our meditations that are a part of the hypnobirthing program. I have had some trouble sleeping lately but last night, after doing the meditation, I slept all the way through the night until 5 AM, got up to pee, came back to bed and went promptly back to sleep! I have struggled all week with not being able to go back to sleep once I got up, and even having to get up and eat something because I was awake long enough for my body to think it was breakfast time! So, not only am I preparing for a satisfying birth experience, I am already reaping the rewards of hypnobirthing! Whoo hoo! We are also learning good relaxation techniques in our Tuesday night class; Doug learned how to simulate contractions on my thigh so I can practice breathing through them and--at least with the simulated contractions, the breathing works! Incidentally, because of my allergies, I discovered that I need to back on Claritin (according to NP, safe for the baby) so I can breathe...

We embark on a new adventure tomorrow...the baby shower! My dear pal Tracy and dear sister-in-law Catherine are hosting it...they are the best. :) I am really looking forward to celebrating this pregnancy with friends and family. I hear there is a special dessert as well...can a pregnant lady ask for anything more? Family, good friends and dessert!?!?! I will make sure to post about it when we get back...

Have great weekends and see some of you tomorrow!

Nightmares, charlie horses and stretch marks

Yes, folks...I am officially pregnant. Very pregnant. While many people still look at me and shake their heads ("You don't look that pregnant! You barely look pregnant!"), I assure you that baby is right on track development-wise and I AM pregnant, complete with nightmares, nighttime charlie horse calf cramps and, even, yes, stretch marks.

We had the first of our every-two-week appointments with our OB/NP yesterday and, as I said, baby continues to grow inside of my ever-expanding belly. My uterus stretches up to under my ribcage now and have felt the occasional rib-kick. Baby is about 3 lbs now and is still performing amazing acrobatics, although not as crazily as before (less room for him or her to ricochet off the uterine walls, I guess). I feel him/her pretty much all day long, even in just the littlest of movements. I think I felt hiccups the other day--I was expecting it to be "cute" little thuds but they were frankly somewhat violent! Poor kid...I understand...I hate the hiccups, too.

We also began childbirth class on Tuesday! There are eight other couples besides ourselves and so far, we are pleased with the teacher, her philosophy, etc. She is even incorporating some hypnobirthing methods, which is great--considering we begin our hypnobirthing class on Sunday evening. Never heard of hypnobirthing? Here's a good link:

http://www.hypnobirthing.com/

We'll share more about it once our classes begin!

As for the Tuesday class, it is offered through our OB's practice and is a combo of many different methods. What is sort of funny is that Doug and I seem to be the oldest couple there; so many of the couples seem so so young! A couple of gals, especially, seem no older than about 20...wow. I know that we are not "old," per se but I felt somewhat old, sitting in that room with all of those bright and shiny faces. We'll see how the rest of the 5 weeks go!

So about the nightmares, charlie horses and stretch marks: those have been just a few of the fun experiences the third trimester has brought. I knew about stretch marks (figured I get them at some point) but I did not previously know that nightmares and charlie horse leg cramps are normal occurrences during pregnancy. I wake up nearly every night out of a deep, disturbing sleep at about 4 AM...having had some crazy nightmare-like dream. They are all stress-related, according to what I have read. My brain is apparently trying to work out the stress I feel about birth, being a mom, etc. and thus I have dreams about running from gangs of murderous thugs or (and this one is my most recent and pretty obvious) trying to get somewhere but missing the plane because I was trying to get everything ready and I had too much to pack. Don't need to be Freud to interpret that one. :)

To add insult to injury, when I wake up in sweaty panic, I am usually dealing with a charlie horse cramp and the intense need to pee...ugh! At least it is still only once a night, we learned in childbirth class that as soon as the baby "drops" (expect that to happen anywhere around 36-37 weeks), my bladder will be able to handle about a tablespoon of pee. I suppose I should be thankful around that time...at least the nightmares will go away because I won't be sleeping--just peeing every hour or so.

And stretch marks...they finally appeared about a week ago. I just have them right under my belly and am trying to keep them under control with Burt's Bees Mama's Belly Butter. I am not too heartbroken...no one will ever see them other than Doug and as I mentioned before, I was expecting them. They are frankly the least of my worries....I'd take the stretch marks over the crappy nightmares, any day. I really hate the nightmares.

I must also share the general dinginess/distractedness I have increasingly experienced also during this crazy third trimester. To put it into perspective: tomorrow is the last day we can say we have double-digit weeks until the baby is born. When we wake up on Saturday, we are less than 10 weeks away from his/her arrival. Yes, we are excited but as it gets closer, the more terrified I get and the more distracted I am. It is extremely difficult to think about anything else other than BABY. As I was sitting in my only class last night, I caught myself at least twice not paying attention at all...I was not able to recall anything anyone had just said. I don't do that...I am an extremely attentive student but I seem to have lost my edge. This is somewhat depressing; I always pride myself on having something meaningful to say but lately, well...my contributions are mediocre at best. I am still putting in all of the work and trying my hardest but, man, it is just really hard. How do other women show up for 8-hour workdays? My hat off to them...wow.

That's enough from me...for now.

Third Trimester...can you believe it?!?

Last Friday, we reached a major milestone in this pregnancy: the third trimester! We had our 28 week appointment with Dr. Beingesser and everything looks great: no gestational diabetes, baby's development is good, my weight is good...all is going perfectly! The baby him/herself seems happy; he/she is movin' and groovin...we can finally see his/her movements on the outside of my belly now! I have also noticed his/her routine: his/her most active times are 10:00 AM and 10:00 PM--and when I wake up to pee one-three times a night, as I fall asleep, I can feel the little one kicking away.

With only 12 weeks to go, we have put preparations into high gear! We are signed up for childbirth classes: one with our OB's group and another with a local hypnobirthing coach. We just selected our doula--she will support both Doug and I throughout labor, birth and will also serve as our lactation consultant. Jacque is highly recommended by EVERYONE...including our OB! We are so excited that things seem to be coming together...

Speaking of which, take a look at these photos! Tracy and Mike came to visit this weekend and together we made major progress on two of our major house-projects: the bathroom and the baby's room! The baby's room is definitely looking like such, particularly with the addition of his/her crib:


With the addition of the crib, it makes our impending parenthood that much more real, to say the very least. We still have a lot to do to prepare for baby's arrival but having a crib in the house makes his/her arrival seem so, so close. I still sometimes stop and in a semi-panic think, "is this really happening?" For the most part, however I am just so excited to meet him/her. I have a feeling that he/she will seem to arrive in no time: the next couple of months are shaping up to be busy! We have three baby showers to attend, childbirth classes to begin, my grad class to finish and just our regular lives to lead: work, friends, church and maybe some more frequent date nights before time together becomes a bit more limited.

The excitement continues...

Pregnancy goes on...

And on and on...just like the heat...which, by the way, is not a good mix. We have had some of the hottest weather here lately, almost every day has reached over 100 degrees. I was never a big fan of the heat but Fresno heat...I could handle. Not anymore. I rarely go outside, in fact! On day, I realized that I had only been outside to take out the recyling and that was bad enough. Again, I thank my lucky stars that I don't really need to go anywhere most of the time...I do my work from our lovely, air-conditioned home. I am not the only one, by the way, exhausted from the heat and this pregnancy:


One good thing about the heat is that the paint in the baby's room dries extra-quickly and as a result, it is nearly done! Here is a picture of the room, in progress:

The difference between the old room and this one is remarkable...just a couple of new coats of paint (see the old room here) changed it completely. Doug continues to paint...I think he will be done fairly soon! We received our crib last week, which waits to be set up after all painting is complete.

As you may see, we are progressing! I am getting bigger and bigger (although still not too big...when you start out pretty big, a little baby doesn't make too much of a splash, I guess) and the baby is more and more active. He or she is constantly moving, kicking, turning...I don't actually know what he or she is doing but sometimes makes such a ruckus that it nearly stops me in my tracks. I was trying to explain how it feels to Doug but could not adequately express: tickling? vibrating? girgling? Like right now, I feel kicks at the bottom of my ribcage that are almost bubbly...like as if I had to burp, sort of. While I am not one of those women who praise the miracle of pregnancy everyday (most of the time it is too exhausting), feeling the baby kick and tumble makes the whole thing more than worth it. Here we are at week 25:


Even if I don't really look it...I do feel six months pregnant and sometimes I can't remember what it feels like to NOT be pregnant. Soon enough, however...it will be over and I'll have bigger fish to fry than sensitivity to the heat and wanting to sleep all of the time. Well, maybe the sleepiness will persist for awhile...

Behold the Belly

Finally, the belly shots!

We'll be doing weekly shots and posting them here until the baby is born so you can all see the progress.

I had to get this photo in, especially with this shirt that Jenn gave me for father's day. I admit it, I am responsible!

Getting Ready!

It's just amazing to me that we'll be 24 weeks pregnant tomorrow! If this pregnancy follows family tradition, we really have only about 12-14 weeks before we welcome Baby Mayer into the world. I think back to when I was 12 weeks pregnant--when we began to tell the world our exciting news--and how I thought I had all the time in the world before we'd actually meet our son or daughter. The gap is closing very fast and while I am trying to really enjoy the present--the pregnancy--I am getting increasingly excited to meet our little one! Of course, I am also getting increasingly nervous--I still cannot completely believe that Doug and I will soon be someone's parents.

Because time is getting short, we set aside last weekend to clean out our second room and prepare it for baby. Doug's mom and bro came over to help us organize, clean, prep and paint the baby's room! It looks like a baby's room now--a pleasant light green. The baby's Aunt Catherine and Uncle Dan gave us the green paint over a year ago--it wasn't quite what they wanted for their own bedroom but, as Aunt Catherine suspected, it is a perfect baby's room color. Thank you, Dan and Catherine!

Room Before

Sharon (Doug's mom) and Chris (Doug's bro) provided incredible help! Since I had to stay away from primer and paint (not to mention the wall-cleaning solution), they helped Doug tremendously and the room looks so good! More than that, it FEELS SO GOOD to have such a major project done! When we walk in the room, we can imagine a crib against the wall and soon, a baby sleeping in that crib in the brightest and cheeriest room in our home. We could not be so ready without their help--thanks SO much, Mom and Bro! We will post photos of the nursery-in-progress soon! Doug received a fantastically fancy camera for his birthday but had to return it. It had some pixel problem. Once we get the replacement, we'll make sure to add photos!

I had my second-to-last monthly appointment with our OB today. All looks good! Dr. B saw the baby move across my abdomen as she was listening for his/her heartbeat--this little one is SOOO active! I am sure he/she is simply getting bigger and stronger, and therefore I feel him/her so much more. Last night, as I was falling asleep, he/she just thumped, thumped, thumped relentlessly--I wonder how much more crazy his/her movements will become as he/she gets bigger! I know that my body is finally feeling the strain of the kid--I have pretty constant lower back pain and have gained a total of about 7-8 lbs--hopefully I am about halfway through the weight gain (I honestly shouldn't gain more than 15-20 lbs total).

And I must share that Dr. B thinks the baby is a girl! She doesn't know and, in fact, no one does! I had her check the chart to see if anything indicated sex. She said no. So, what I thought might have been a slip on our NP's part, wasn't a slip! NP thinks the baby is a boy, and Dr. B thinks girl! For the longest time I was sure it was a boy, then a girl, now--I just don't know. My mom had a girl first, my grandmother had a girl first (well, only a girl), and my great-grandmother had a girl first (out of 4) but I don't think that means much! Sharon was her parents' first child yet she had a boy first. Looks like we are back to honestly not knowing--just where we want to be. Hooray!

School begins next week! I am taking one class and continuing my research work. I am excited about getting back to school--this is my last class and hopefully I can begin writing my thesis next semester and graduate perhaps next fall. We are also taking a childbirth class, beginning in October. I'll hopefully finish both classes (English and childbirth) right before Thanksgiving--just in case the little one (following family tradition) makes an early entrance. We'll see!

The Long Lost Dad

Sorry about the absence from the blog here, but, as usual, I've been fairly busy. Between work and home, I wonder how I will ever keep up when the baby comes. From what my friends and workmates have told me, they also had the same fear. The consensus seems to be that, like everything else, you just do what you need to do.

In the post below, Jenn related our unplanned trip to the hospital and what that entailed. I wanted to wait until she said something before I chimed in on that evening as I think it was her story to tell. As for me, I was also frightened, but I had the feeling that nothing was really wrong. Everything up until that point indicated that the baby was healthy, developing normally and that we couldn't hope for a better pregnancy. With those thoughts in mind, I just couldn't bring myself to believe that, suddenly, something was amiss. However, I wasn't fully convinced until the moment the nurse applied the fetal monitor to Jenn's belly and we heard that now familiar fast-beating heart. I knew then everything was alright.

One thing in particular that was not alright about that evening (besides the general scare of being at the ER) was how I felt I was treated by the attending nurse. By the time we left the hospital it was around midnight, we were exhausted and I didn't think much about it. I mentioned it to Jenn on the way home, but didn't really start thinking about it till the next day. Now, I was extremely happy about the way Jenn was cared for and treated while we were there, so I have no complaints in that area. However, I felt I could have been an inatimate object for all the attention that I was paid during our nearly two-and-a-half hours we were in the room. In that whole time the nurse spoke directly to me twice -- once to say something I can't remember and the other time to tell me there is a remote control for the tv on the bedside table.

Justifiable or not, this irked me. As if I was just going to sit back, relax and watch the tube while my wife was laying not two feet from me worrying about the health of our baby. Jenn was, rightfully, the focus of attention that evening and like I said, I was very happy with her treatment. But at the same time, I would like to believe that my presence serves some purpose and I want to be involved during the pregnancy. Unfortunately, the nurse did not even include me in any of the conversations she had with Jenn while we were there.

I don't know...maybe it was just that particular nurse, or maybe she wasn't really trying to exclude me, or maybe that is standard procedure and it really bugs me because I want to be involved and even though I'm not pregnant, I am still a part of this event. Anyway, sorry about the mini-rant...I'm just hoping that night was not indicative of our future visits. Hope I'm not being a prat.

I finally started reading "The Expectant Father", which was loaned to me by Tracy's brother, Dan. I'm a little late starting into it, but I had to finish reading Harry Potter! The book is great so far, although it is going over many of the things Jenn has already been through, but it is still very informative. I was a bit hesitant to start reading these parenting books, mainly because it would make me realize how much I don't know and then I would freak out and feel like I need to ready every parenting book I could get my hands on. That is the classic engineer in me -- I need to know exactly how to do everything. I am slowly coming to terms with the fact that I'm just going to have to wing a lot of stuff from here on out!

Oh, and how cool is it to feel the baby kicking mama's belly?! Such a trip.

More pregnancy adventures!

They just keep coming!

We are officially 22 weeks along today...if baby is born, he/she is "viable" outside of the womb. Weird to think this...of course, it is not the ideal situation. We want him or her to bake for at least another 15 weeks...we want to get through Thanksgiving, remember?!??! This pregnant lady wants to be able to enjoy her turkey, stuffing and--most of all--pumpkin pie!

So, we have had a couple of weeks of adventures! To begin, we took our first trip to Clovis Community Hospital last week, and specifically, to the Labor and Delivery wing. It was not under the most ideal of circumstances, however. I got back from dog training with Grizzly last Wednesday (a week ago) and found that I was bleeding. You can guess how. Then I began to cramp. According to our doctor's instructions, we went to the ER. We ended up finally in L&D where they hooked me up to the fetal monitor, gave me a shot to relax uterine contractions, got another ultrasound, and generally monitored me until about midnight (we got to the ER around 7). It was really frightening...I don't recall being more confused or scared in my life.

As it turned out, baby was totally fine (super-active, in fact) and I am fine, too. I am on a somewhat restricted routine...at least for the short term. Not too hard because school has yet to begin and I am taking this semester off from teaching--so thank goodness for that.

I guess there was bound to be at least one scary moment in this pregnancy--I am glad it turned out the way it did...just fine. And, we did get a preview of where we will eventually give birth...it's a nice place! The nurses took exceptional care of me and it was very peaceful and cozy. Doug noticed another pregnant mama (who was there to give birth) walking around the ward and they had posters up explaining the importance of skin-on-skin contact immediately after birth, so...all good signs of a somewhat progressive birth environment.

So, whew...everything's fine. And just to make sure, I was told to visit my OB this week. I went in yesterday and our NP confirmed that all seems fine. My uterus now extends above my navel and baby's growth is right on track. When we were listening to the heartbeat, I thought it sounded somewhat slower, so I asked if everything seemed okay. My NP said yes, it's a _____, right?

OOOPS. Did she do what I just thought she did? I am hoping she was simply asking the question, not confirming what she thought we already knew? Doug refuses to hear what she said, which makes it somewhat worse! I won't tell him (or anyone) which gender she indicated but it's hard to keep this secret, if in fact what she indicated is true! I am also somewhat disappointed, I was really looking forward to hearing Doug, at the birth, tell me if we have a son or a daughter. I suppose we still won't know FOR SURE until then, right?

The adventures continue, don't they?

It's Doug's 33rd birthday on Saturday! We are getting together with some friends from church to play pool and whatnot...it should be a great way to celebrate Doug! We also plan to spend his birthday cleaning out our second room...in preparation for Doug's mom and bro to come and help us begin to get what will become the nursery ready for baby! I'll post photos of our progress...

Kicking!

So, I think Baby Mayer (boy or girl) will definitely play soccer...perhaps professionally from how he or she has been kicking me lately! He/she is only about a pound at this point but wow...can I ever feel this little one moving and kicking.

Either a soccer player or a kicker in the NFL, right, Uncle Dan?

Halfway There!

If this baby actually makes it to his/her due date, we have only 20 more weeks to go before we meet him/her! It is amazing to think that we are, possibly, even beyond the halfway point! I have to admit that I have somewhat mixed feelings about this; I am just now getting into being pregnant. I can finally feel some fluttering movements and am beginning to look pregnant. When we first found out we were pregnant (way back in April), it seemed like such a long way until December. It is now only four months away and while we are so excited to meet him/her, I think I will miss being pregnant. I can't think of a more special or unique experience and I am so grateful that things have gone so smoothly thus far.

Our 20-week appointment with our NP yesterday was so positive. We received the results from the ultrasound...everything completely normal. WHEW! While I know that anything can happen, I feel very confident that our little one is healthy--at least all major organs and body systems appear to be forming/functioning normally.

We (mostly I) decided to opt out of the AFP screening test mainly because of the high rate of false positives. In some ways, yes, I think it is important to know that our baby has Downs or other anomalies before he/she is born but the ultrasound showed that major anomalies are not present. Yes, we still have about 1 in 600 chance of having a baby with Downs Syndrome. Perhaps we just shot ourselves in the foot by not finding out ahead of time, at the same time, the fact that the baby's organs and whatnot are functioning/forming normally is also an indicator that Downs may not be present (something like half of Downs babies are born with heart defects). I simply didn't want to subject us to the added stress of a likely false positive; even if we have a Downs baby cooking, I want to have the happiest possible pregnancy. We took a chance--I know. But I feel like sometimes it is best to just proceed and not bog myself down with the "what ifs." I am trying very hard to simply enjoy this and not worry to much about the future. It will be fine...no matter what.

Another quick note about the ultrasound: the radiological report suggested a due date of December 7. We are not changing our "official" due date because we are still within three weeks of our due date. Our NP said that we have a good chance of having a November baby, however! I will be "full term" around Thanksgiving so anytime after Turkey Day, folks...Baby Mayer could make an appearance.

Doug and I are finally home for the summer! We are done with traveling and are so happy to be HOME. We have so much to do before the baby comes--it is somewhat overwhelming. I know myself, however and I won't want to rearrange furniture or paint walls once the baby is here so we plan to have the baby's room ready (and the main bathroom DONE!) by Thanksgiving or so. While we don't plan to have everything for Baby by then (stepdad Steve is getting a cradle ready for us so if we don't have a crib right away, oh well!), those of you who have been in our second room know that the pumpkin-colored walls need to go (thanks to Uncle Dan and Aunt Catherine, Baby's room will be a lovely light green).

Have a great weekend and we'll continue the updates next week.

Peace!

Baby Mayer Ultrasound!

Well...here he/she is!




Needless to day, the ultrasound was great!!!!

We saw him/her wiggling around, waving at us, moving his/her legs...was incredible. Found out that my placenta (well, the baby's placenta) is anterior...meaning in the front. May be a reason why I have yet to feel the little critter. He/she looked perfect to me...nice spine, head, beating heart (147 bpm)...I didn't see anything weird (like a horn or third arm). We'll get the report when we go to the doctor next week...I can't wait! I have been so nervous about this ultrasound I think mostly because I just have no clue what to expect or what is normal, etc.

I think we decided that the little one...boy or girl...has my nose and Doug's ears. This is totally, completely overwhelming for me to think about (as I begin to tear up writing this)--a little person with my nose and Doug's ears. A real little being that we created, together. For the first time today, as I saw the little one, I felt like a mom. It became that much more real to me that I am...will always be...someone's mother and, holy shit, that is incredible. And the best of all? I have such an amazing partner with whom I get to share parenting. We all know that Doug will be the best dad ever. Oh, speaking of Dad, guess what one of the first comments Doug made at the ultrasound? You won't be the least surprised: "What incredible software!"

Ah, that is the man I love.

Here are a couple more ultrasound photos:




The first one is supposed to be his/her heart and we cannot figure out the second one...maybe an arm and hand? The tech kept pointing stuff out and I couldn't believe what I was seeing--stomach? femur? I frankly took her word for it.

I'll let Doug add his two cents about our experience...I am still somewhat dazed from the whole thing! I have to admit...I don't think I have ever been so happy in my life as when I first realized I was looking at our KID...our little one. Life is certainly GOOD.

Peace.

A Trip for the Ages

Wow, what a ride. We just returned yesterday from our "vacation" to San Diego to attend the wedding of our good friends Lucas and Cyndi. Actually, we returned from Santa Cruz where my cousin Alison was married, but we couldn't actually differentiate the two locales because we were so tired from driving. We left San Diego at 7:15am on Sunday morning and made it to Santa Cruz at 2:20pm, in time for the wedding at 3:00pm. Impressive, no?

While we had a wonderful time at both, it seems the traveling has really taken a toll on Jenn who woke up this morning with some serious back pain. She had been noticing increased aches in her back recently, but the time in the car and general fatigue has really aggravated her psyiatic (sp?) nerve. She phoned the doctor this morning and was told that this was totally normal, although it still sucks. Hopefully, it won't be chronic during the rest of the pregnancy.

It seems we are trying to make ourselves sick of traveling what with all of the trips we have been taking recently. I suppose it is good that we do these things while we can, but we sure are tired at the moment. We still plan to travel as much as we can (afford) even after the baby is born -- we want to expose the baby to traveling so hopefully he/she will get used to it.

Keyword = hopefully.

Anyway, I'll have to elaborate more on our recent travels and our upcoming ultrasound later. Work calls and I need to keep my job!

Was it always this hot in the summer?!?

As many of you know, Doug and I lived in Phoenix for two years before we moved back to California in 2003. It wasn't strange to hit 100 degrees every day for about three months during the summer in Phoenix. It wasn't the most pleasant thing in the world but whatever...everywhere had great AC and we just dealt with it.

Well, now that we are back in CA...Fresno...it is not nearly as hot as it was in Phoenix and yet the heat has been killing me lately. We had some extremely hot weather last week and while it is not 111 anymore...I am so hot. I cannot go outside without immediately beginning to sweat, it's pretty remarkable. Again, I blame the kid! Pregnant ladies are more susceptible to the heat...thank goodness I am not 7 months pregnant right now.

And being in Las Vegas last week was really tough. It was about Phoenix hot when we were there, around 109 or so. It was the air that I couldn't handle. The dryness really aggravated my already congested and sensitive nasal passages and lungs. I developed a nasty cough while there that is finally beginning to subside. My only relief was when we went to the Shark Reef exhibit at the Mandalay Bay...it was nice and humid in there. Maybe during our next pregnancy we will plan a vacation to New Orleans or Atlanta...where the air is nice and wet!

I'll let Doug report more on our Vegas vacation...he had quite an adventure in search of Tums for his pregnant wife. What a great hubby he is.

We are off to Southern CA tomorrow...to attend Lucas and Cyndie's wedding!! I am very excited to celebrate them and see some friends we haven't seen in quite awhile. We are then heading to Santa Cruz on Sunday to attend Doug's cousin's wedding there..Alison is getting married! It will be crazy...our mad wedding tour of CA. Doug already told me to have the alka selzer ready for him...it's nice that I have an excuse to NOT drink so I can be the designated driver. We are also stopping off in San Juan Capistrano to visit our pals Emily and Greg...it will be a crazy but very fun five days...

And in between all of this fun...it's sometimes really easy to forget that I am pregnant! I tend to push myself pretty hard when it comes to traveling, etc. and because I am feeling pretty good...I simply forget that I have a little bun cooking! On top of this, I still don't think I look pregnant...I have the tiniest of bumps still and while I know he/she is in there, I still haven't felt any kicks or thumps so...it's just a funny stage, I guess. A new phenomenon lately has been lower back pain...especially when I go to bed at night...wow...does my back ache. Weight is definitely being redistributed (thus the back pain) but I honestly thought I'd be huge by now!! I am not necessarily sad about NOT being huge...I was already pretty big to begin with. I guess this pregnancy continues to be something I simply could not anticipate...nothing is really how I expected it to be! And that is not a bad thing. :)

We do have an exciting milestone approaching...our ultrasound! We are scheduled for Thursday, 7/19...in about a week. It's perhaps not as exciting to some because we are not going to find out girl or boy but it is amazingly exciting to us! Of course, the worrier that I am, I am most concerned about defects...will this baby have a healthy spine? No indication of Downs? No third arm or eleventh finger? In my heart I know this baby is just fine but...well...I suppose I have to worry about something. I am also hoping the u/s will help me determine what the baby's movements feel like! I hope when I can see him/her move, I can somehow correlate the movements with sensations in my belly! We will make sure to post photos and whatnot from the u/s...so exciting!

In all, things are great. Hoping all is well with all of you, too!

Peace.

Appointment Update

Doug and I met our OB yesterday, Dr. Kelli Beingesser. As Doug said as we left her office, "we obviously have a kick-ass doctor!" I was confident that we would like her--she knows many people we do and--at least I had hoped this--as the the only practice with midwives on staff, I thought we were safely picking a doctor who has a more "progressive" or "natural" philosophy toward childbirth. She actually addressed that issue right away--they do not perform elective inductions and avoid using pitocin in general. Even to the point that the nurses as the hospital where our doctor delivers babies file complaints about "standards of practice" when the doctor simply lets the mom labor as long as she needs to. It seems terribly backwards and even misogynistic to consider inducing labor, epidurals and even perhaps c-sections as "standard practices!" It's as if women didn't have babies until western medicine came along? Not that we should really be blaming western medicine because we all know who rules western medicine--the insurance companies. We have to get to see Michael Moore's new film...I have heard from several people that it is fantastic.

Anyhow...I don't really fear childbirth but the things that do--did--worry me was being pressured into pitocin or even a c-section because my labor was taking more than 6 hours or whatever. I am so relieved that not only will Doug and our doula advocate for me but so will my OB! What a freakin' relief.

And we heard our baby's heartbeat again! It seemed to have slowed down--sounds more like a normal heartbeat. I asked Dr. Beingesser about the wive's tale about the heart rate...slower means boy and faster means girl. She kinda winked and said that we have a 50/50 chance! I still think we are cooking a boy but who really knows...right?

Everything seems to be progressing nicely! I still have not gained any weight! I cannot believe it...my weight fluctuates so much usually! I think it helps that while the morning sickness is gone...I still cannot overeat without feeling ill or getting massive indigestion so perhaps pregnancy will help me develop better habits...don't eat the rest of the filet mignon just because it is on the plate!

And Doug and I are off to Las Vegas tomorrow! We are celebrating 5 years of wedded bliss...and enjoying a little time away while we can. We are going to back to the Luxor--where we spent our first weekend trip away together oh so many years ago...back in 2000. I will be thinking of all you as I sweat and drink mocktails by the pool!!

Peace.

Nearly 16 weeks pregnant!

It's been forever since I posted! I have been so incredibly busy! I just returned late on Sunday night from Portland, OR. I traveled there for the annual General Assembly of Unitarian Universalists as a chaperone for our youth group. I had an amazing time with both our youth and at the conference; I was so impressed with all of the LOVE.

The highlight of the GA for me was when I attended a lecture by Robert Fulghum. He is the author of one of my favorite essays, "All I Really Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten." I had not idea that Robert Fulghum was a UU minister...he is, in fact, Rev. Robert Fulghum. My dear old friend Paul Bergman gave me Rev. Fulghum's essay when we graduated from high school back in 1992 and wrote a funny/somewhat catty inscription in it. He said that "if the Book of Mormon doesn't supply the words you choose to live by I think this one will." Both of us were, at that time, fallen Catholics who had rejected organized religion completely. The Book of Mormon mention was a joke...there was NO way either of us would look to a "holy" book for any direction whatsoever! I think he perhaps recognized something that I did also--spiritual fulfillment did not need to be found in some traditional religious dogma, but instead in something like Robert Fulghum's little book of kindergarten wisdom.

Well, here I am, fifteen years later, living by the principles of Unitarian Universalism (well, at least trying to most of the time) and there was Rev. Fulghum, on my bookshelf, this whole time. I believe he used the word "stealthy" to describe the way he shares the UU Principles...his books have been bestsellers all over the world. Lots of people ask me what the heck being a UU is all about and it's somewhat hard to explain...unless of course you also have a copy of Rev. Fulghum's essay in your bookshelf--then it is pretty easy to get. I think the main message I took away from Rev. Fulghum was to live...right now. To take joy even in our struggles...which means for me lately to not get upset when I cannot stay up forever or push my body physically as I could when not pregnant. Instead of feeling guilty or whatever for not being able to do as much as I used to, I may take joy in this, struggle and all.

In addition to loving being around all of those UUs, I loved Portland! Man, what a city! The youth leader and I (Jennifer also!) joked on the way home...why in hell don't we live there? I loved everything about it...free public transit downtown, great food, green everywhere, the strawberries (thanks to Helen and Troy...our pals who live there)--everything! Portland also supports a lot of sustainable living initiatives and very different from Fresno, seems to have urban sprawl under control. The housing prices aren't too bad...somewhat comparable to Fresno--maybe a little more, depending on where you want to live. Fantastic city. I didn't get to enjoy all of the microbrews while up there, of course--but I do plan to go back and enjoy!!

It was also so great to see our pals Helen and Troy! Helen is 18 weeks pregnant and so it was so nice to chat with another pregnant lady...although I have been so jealous of her pregnancy experience...no morning sickness! Yes, mine finally went away (I frankly don't even feel pregnant anymore...aside from the fatigue/exhaustion) but I am still jealous! And...she has the cutest little bump...I still have no bump. I don't think I will actually show for another couple of months...my belly was already pretty bumpy so the little dude has to be bigger than 5 inches (what he is now) to actually see him through my preexisting bumps. :) har har. It's nice to know that if we ever do move to Portland, our little one has a friend already!!! Helen and Troy took me for a driving tour of Portland...we ended up at the Rose Garden which was gorgeous...and hit a ritzy garage sale (it was so ritzy that the folks hosting it simply called it a "G-Sale"). Helen and Troy apparently love g-sales and made out pretty good at this one! hehe!

With my mind and heart still in Portland, I began to teach at our church's day camp on Monday! I am teaching the 7/8th grade kids and boy...is it a challenge!! I really love being with them but were we that wiggly when in 7/8th grade? Okay, yes, I definitely was...I couldn't shut up. In the 8th grade, I was moved to the front of the class, in front of the door with the glass window that looked directly into the principal's office--from which the principal would shake her finger warningly at me, throughout the day. So, okay...I get it. I do really enjoy them...they make me laugh. They also want me to tear my hair out... hehe. I really love working with the directors of camp...Jennifer and Aubree...fun and funny gals who really know their shit. All of this youth ministry stuff is very new to me so they have been an INCREDIBLE help!!

As you can see, I am feeling better. With the disappearance of the morning sickness, I seemed to also gain a little of "me" back! When I was so sick, I felt so incredibly powerless--I was constantly at the mercy of my body. I still feel this to a large extent; as I mentioned above, I simply cannot stay up as late or pack my days as full of activities as I could before I was pregnant. It is simply not possible--my body honestly just gives out. My back begins to ache, my legs begin to ache and I am overcome with a powerful desire to lie the hell down. In Portland this was especially tough...as a chaperone, I felt awful when the teenagers were still bouncing off of the walls and the other chaperones were also tired...but I just had no steam at moments. I appreciated their giving me "a pass" and fully intend to extend the same favor to them or other chaperones in the future--pregnant or otherwise!

Other than the exhaustion...my pregnancy seems almost unforgettable! I don't really look pregnant (although Doug swears that I "glow") and I have yet to feel the baby move. I thought I did about 2 weeks ago but have not felt it since and have chocked it up to gas. :) I do have a doctor's appointment on Friday and will hopefully schedule my first ultrasound. We only plan to get one...just to be on the safe side. If nothing seems wrong, I am all for keeping this pregnancy as un-medicalized as possible.

I'll write again after our doctor's visit! Peace.

Last Day of First Trimester!

Okay...here we are...week 13! As Doug mentioned in the previous post, I am hoping for magic when I wake up tomorrow! I have heard so many positive stories of women feeling like they can conquer the world during their second trimesters...I am so hopeful that this will be my story, also!

What I don't expect to go away--something that has been particularly strong lately--is my bionic sense of smell. As I sit here writing this, I can smell the fabric softener that I used on my clothing and Grizzly...who is sitting at least 5 feel behind me. What is truly remarkable about my incredibly strong sense of smell is that pretty much since we found out about our pregnancy, my allergies have been out of control (did you know that pregnancy often aggravates allergies? It's true!). So, despite my sniffly, sneezy and stuffed up nose, I can smell everything...all of the time! What is positive however is that many of the smells no longer make me want to yak...although the thought and smell of coffee (this is just such a tragedy) still don't settle well with this mama.

Another pregnancy fun fact! Did you know that pregnant ladies are more prone to gingivitis? It's hormonal, apparently. Seemingly just like everything else in pregnancy, right?

Pretty much. :)

Late Night Musings

Well, it's late Thursday night, I've been meaning to post for a couple of days, and now that I am sitting in front of the computer, I can't quite think of what to write about.

Figures.

Jenn had somewhat of a bad day, feeling particularly icky, slightly dizzy and really sniffly. She is definitely ready for that magical second trimester that she keeps hearing about. Said trimester officially begins Saturday morning, so there is this somewhat wishful, but half-serious expectation that she will wake up that morning feeling like a million bucks. We can hope.

I'm ready for her to feel better, but not because she has been a drag or anything. I just feel guilty because I haven't had to deal with any of the crap she is going through. Hmmm, that sounds a little bit selfish...I want her to feel better so I can feel better.

I did go through a bout of sympathy heartburn this past week. I had it for three days in a row and it seemingly sprang up out of nowhere. I figure it was out of sympathy because I have had heartburn a total of three times in my life up until then, so what else could it be. Right?

I've been really surprised by people being surprised that we are not going to find out the gender of our baby till he/she is born. Whenever I tell them that, they just look at me with this look of "are you crazy?" Well, no, not really. Nowadays, when asked the question "do you know what you are going to have", I say "a human." Someone recently imparted that wise-ass retort to me, but I can't remember who at the moment. Whoever you are, a big thanks...I love the look people give me when I say that.

Some have even commented on how brave we are to not find out the gender until Jenn gives birth. Brave? Maybe for having a child in the first place, but for not knowing whether it will be a boy or girl? I guess it just doesn't really matter to me one way or another -- I'm just excited to find out when the time comes.

Oh, our kid will play baseball. Boy, girl, doesn't matter. Unless he/she doesn't want to. Then subtle forms of coercion will have to be employed. We're not baseball fanatics, I swear...we just really, really like it. =)

Enough rambling for one evening. Off to bed so my sleepy mind can rest.

Peace.

Week 12!

We are officially 12 weeks along in pregnancy today! Perhaps it is not the best thing to do but I enter week 13 tomorrow (my last week in the first trimester) with some pretty hefty expectations.

First and foremost, I hope my body makes good on what most people say about the second trimester--that the nausea and exhaustion goes away and, as my good pal Helen describes it, you feel like Superwoman. I look around the house at all of the things I want to get done before the baby arrives (actually, more like before I begin the fall semester): clean, redecorate and reorganize the 2nd bedroom (soon to be nursery), clean up the backyard, etc and I wonder when I will have the energy to do all of this?? One of the gals in my iVillage expecting club started a thread called "You know you are pregnant if..." and someone contributed: "if every time you walk by a couch you want to take a nap" and even this far along, I feel like that!! Granted, even before the pregnancy I loved to take naps but this definitely a different deal!

Another thing I look forward to is--and I feel like such a bad mother for saying this--enjoying this pregnancy! Because of the sickness and exhaustion, I don't feel like I have really enjoyed being pregnant thus far. I know it is still early on and the fun stuff (feeling the baby kick, etc.) is yet to come, it's strange how I already feel a little bit guilty for not enjoying every minute of being pregnant. So many mothers have shared with me how much they loved being pregnant and frankly, while I am so excited to nurture this little being inside of me, I mostly feel like, "ugh...when will this crappy feeling end?"

I remain hopeful for both of these things!! I shared both of these with my mom last night over the phone and she said, "well, it's not like magic." While I do dream that I wake up in a week from tomorrow feeling like a million bucks, I am fully prepared for the reality that I might still feel yucky. I do feel very strongly that I need to stay super-positive and keep my mind in the right place, however--that this pregnancy will not only meet my expectations but exceed them.

I also have to share something I have been dealing with since we heard the baby's heartbeat last week! It was an incredibly joyful event but as I mentioned in a previous post, it made the pregnancy feel super-real. The fact that there is a living, breathing and moving being inside me has been mind-blowing--in both joyful and somewhat scary ways. Generally, I feel like I am dealing just fine with the changes happening in my body due to the pregnancy but at the same time, it is somewhat disturbing to wake up every day knowing that my body has been somewhat taken over by this kid! While I think it is amazing that all of this is happening, it is still somewhat strange to really think about what is going on...another human is living in my body? He or she is slowing down my digestion to absorb nutrients from the food I just ate? My body is producing and will eventually be pumping almost double the amount of blood it did prior to the little dude's implantation? It's somewhat wacky to sit back and really think about what is going on inside what I always considered "my" body!! It doesn't really feel exclusively mine anymore and that, in and of itself, is a wacky concept to deal with.

And I do have to say one more thing...even though the laundry and dishes don't get done with the frequency they did before or dinner isn't as exciting as it used to be, I still feel so damned productive at the end of every week! I am, after all, making a kid! I can nearly feel my uterus now in my lower abdomen (I also expect to begin to look pregnant rather than just chubby during the second trimester!) so I know the little dude is cooking away...hopefully happy as a clam. So--and maybe this is for the benefit of Doug, primarily--even though he sometimes doesn't come home to the cleanest house or we are again eating beans and rice or pasta, I'm working hard to cook the best kid ever! Hehe. :)

General Thoughts

I kind of feel like it hasn't really hit me yet.

I guess I was expecting a certain level of anxiousness, a quickening of the heart when I think about being a dad, a parent. I have definitely felt the excitement and joy, especially when we heard The little dude's™ heartbeat the other day. Still, I have been unusually calm, even for me, when thinking about being a parent.

Maybe I really am ready. Maybe the dogs really are the training wheels we always joked they were. Maybe the fear just hasn't had the chance to seep up through the layer of happiness that has coated me like a sweet glaze.

Ready or not, this is happening and I couldn't be happier.

HEARTBEAT!!

Wow!!

Doug and I had an appointment with our NP this morning and it was the most incredible thing--we heard the baby's heartbeat! Our NP seemed to find it pretty easily--one moment it was quiet and then in the next moment, the room was filled with the sounds of a very distinctive and STRONG heartbeat! I began to cry and looked over at Doug--there were tears in his eyes, too! What a feeling! It is a fast little beat--fetal heart rates are much faster than adult heart rates--Doug does a fantastic impression of it (ask him to do it for you!). Lots of parents rent dopplers to listen and record their babies' heartbeats...while we don't plan to rent one, how cool would it be to record it the heartbeat? It is a possibility (Doug wondered this in the office)--and if you are interested in hearing what a fetal heartbeat sounds like, go to:

http://www.sweetbeats.net/fetal-doppler-babys-heartbeat.php

The eight week one sounds a lot like what we heard this morning!

I came into the appointment not expecting much; many of the ladies in my "Expecting Club" on iVillage couldn't hear the heartbeat until week 13 or so. Also, the receptionist this morning said that we were scheduled to talk about finances today, whereas at our last appointment, our NP said we would listen for the heartbeat! I was pissed and told Doug that I would not hesitate to get angry with the financial person (as if she was at fault) because, dammit, I wanted to hear the heartbeat! Almost all of the ladies who post in my expecting club have either had an ultrasound or doppler by now, so, now it was our turn!

Needless to say, it turned out better than I could have even imagined. I am--we are--really pregnant! There is a little person in there! Unbelievable! I think it is finally beginning to hit me--wow--we are going to be parents in nearly six months. CRAZY.

Now I have to run to take some Tums...heartburn is setting in after my second breakfast.

Love to all!